Boardwalk Shop by Ella Goelman

I think a lot

About how little time we have 

When I peel the skin off my bottom lip 

Or try to crack my knuckles 

But they won’t pop

Or want to tell a joke 

But get too scared 

And let the moment pass by.

How much time have I spent just

Waiting for that skin to grow back 

And peeling it again?

Letting the air bubbles in my knuckles reset 

So I can crack them again?

Waiting for the right timing to tell that one joke?

How much has slipped away with time

Falling through the toy sieve

That my father bought for me 

To play with on the beach

From some shitty store

On the boardwalk.

It was filled with overpriced souvenirs 

And magnets with names on them

That we spent hours 

Trying to find my sister on 

But we never did

How much time?

It was where I committed my first crime

From the rocks you put in a bag

I took one and did not pay.

I felt adrenaline coursing though me

The smooth stone 

Laid dormant in my hand

I hadn’t waited

I had taken my chance.

And those hours searching through names 

Led us to fits of laughter.

And my holding off on that joke 

Let someone else say something 

I will think of for many years to come 

And the giddiness I feel when I do pop my knuckles.

And the different chap sticks 

My mom gifted me for many holidays.

And how when I looked at the sand falling through that sieve

My glance towards the horizon. 

The waves crashed and collided 

The way they always have

Always will

And maybe the time isn’t such a waste.